Practical strategies to manage persistent pain
I struggle to relax – what can I do?
Remember, relaxation is a skill that becomes easier with regular practice. There are lots of reasons why people can’t relax which may include:
Many people find keeping focused difficult. This can be due to pain, medication or lack of sleep. It is normal for your mind to wander, especially when you are trying to stay focused on the same thing for a while. Instead of thinking about it too much, when you notice your focus has changed, simply and gently bring it back to your relaxation practice. You may also find it helps to start with just a few minutes practice and build up slowly.
Some people say it is hard to set aside time for themselves to relax when they feel they do not do enough to justify it. If this is the case for you, perhaps write down the thoughts you notice about setting aside time for you, and consider whether these are helpful or unhelpful thoughts. Think how you might advise a friend in a similar position.
When learning to relax, many people really focus and try hard to relax. However, “trying hard” often means getting tense in order to achieve it and often leads to a non-relaxed state. Instead, see if you can gradually allow your body and mind to relax. Remember relaxing is a gradual process and it takes practice to simply go with the flow of the technique.
If you are used to a lot of tension, you may find the light or floaty feelings of relaxation quite difficult. Try practicing for shorter periods of time to begin with so you just start to relax – you can build up slowly over time.
Some people don’t see any value in relaxing, which will make it hard to focus. Doing something because you’ve been told to is rarely successful. Jot down the pros and cons of relaxing. Does this change anything? If not, maybe leave it for now, but come back to it in a few weeks and see if your view has changed.
Although some people use relaxation as a way to help them drift to sleep, if you always practice when tired, you may find you always fall asleep rather than experiencing a relaxed but awake state. That is fine if it suits you. If you want to relax at different times of day, you will also need to practice when more awake. You could also try relaxing for shorter periods of time, perhaps setting a gentle alarm for 10 minutes or try keeping your eyes open and softly focus on a spot in front of you.